Yell

The loneliness sometimes feels so overwhelming.
I wish I could just shut down all the feelings and emotions.
All the thoughts.
I wish I could be cold.
Without feelings.
Heartless

This road is too tough sometimes.
Its been more than a year

I have been too much lonely. 

I need warmth again.
I learned to be self efficient. 

I have gotten good at it (being alone) 

But is still complicated sometimes. 

And like fucking today

I breakdown
Millions surround me and  my heart feels something different.

Before it was

Millions surround me and yet I am alone. 

It is so fucking annoying when I have been so in control of me. 

In control of my emotions and my feelings. 

This is getting a little bit uncomfortable to be out of my comfort zone. 

You are not fucking complaining. 

You are just letting it out. 

Because I do want it. 

I want this. 

But of course that is how you are supposed to feel shitty shit. 

I don't even know you that well.

Why in the fucking world do I need you and kind of miss you already? 

Is it my fucking heart being fucking immature and stupid? 

Is my brain fucking playing games with me? 

Are they both being fucking annoying? 

This is really happening. 

You have to get used to it 

FUCKING GET USED TO IT.