Suddenly I cry.

I haven't feel the need to cry since I got to the apartment on monday afternoon. I went straight to bed, and then I woke up late to try to eat something but my face hurted, so I ate a little bit, I drank a few pain relievers and went to sleep again.

Today I was talking to my mom, she lives in "the most dangerous country" in the world, which if you see the date and the year and google it you will find out which one is it.
I missed her so much, I missed my dad so much today, I missed my Dolly.
I miss my room and my comfort zone. I miss them so much today, and then the thought that I don't remember anything from the incident but still have the bruises makes me feel powerless.

And suddenly I started to cry, but I held myself.

I am trying to tell myself that everything will be better, but I don't know if it will.
Tomorrow I have to go to the police station and file a report, and I am scared of doing so.
I have to go to the bank and get a new card, and then a new phone, and I am afraid.
I don't know if I am afraid just now or if I feel insecure, I don't know exactly what I feel.

But now, for now I wish I could have someone to hug me, or to hug and cry, and cry without shame.

I wish I could rewind this days and go back and not going out on sunday.
Because right now, I don't know nothing......and I am crying.