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I was depressed. I had no motivation at all, no expectations of life. At one point all what I wanted to do was staying in my room and just be, not thinking and not even crying anyomore. 

I was in such depression that my dreams and goals seemed imposible and part of the science fiction world. I started to give up and I just didn't believe in anyone neither in me. 

I tried to get away. 
I knew that I needed a fresh start. 
I just wanted to be somewhere where I could be no one and someone at the same time. 
Somewhere where I would never  disappoint anyone including me.
Somewhere where I could be me and take control of everything. 
Somewhere where I could feel alive, where I could walk among people and be a perfect stranger. Somewhere where I could be free, where my mind could be in peace with my soul and my heart.

A fresh start. 

Moving to a new country and leave everything what you know was a hard decision to make.
You take full control of your life and of who you are. You choose to leave all what is normal and what you know. You have to build a new life with the knowledge and experience that you have acquired so far in your life and trust that and have faith on the person you that have become so far in this journey. 

The biggest challenge is to know and acknowledge who you really are, because you are everything you have, you are the only old friend, the only family, the only everything you have and if you don't know who "you are" yet....your journey is to find that out. 

"Fresh start" sounds delightful and easy. It is delightful but it isn't easy at all. Sometimes the depression chases me and I feel like giving up.....but I fight, because I don't want to be defeated by my own fears, because I want to defeat my fears and I want to acomplish my goals and have new challenges. 

It has been hard and sometimes you feel like everything is against you, but then you remember your motivation, that you accepted the challenge for a reason: YOU. 

Then you stand up and keep walking.