Start, Start, Stop!

We are so small in this world. 

We are just one among billions. 

We are many
We are nothing
We are everything
We are chaos
We are light. 

You can mean something for someone or nothing for someone else. 

You can make a huge difference in someone's life.....or not. 

You can create another human being or destroy it. 

You can do so many things or not

Many times we are restrained to do and chase what we want because we are familiarized with it so much that going out of our comfort zone is forbidden. 

Why do we have to stay comfortable with what we have or with who we are? 
Why do we have to be OK with the order of things? 
Why do we have to agree to live under standars and rules?
Why do we have to follow society? 
Why do we forget to listen our own voice?
Why do we forget about US?

There is no perfection in the human life which it means that there is always room to improve. Which it means that you can disagree and create a better path. 

You are not perfect, you are not more than anyone, you will die. 
There is no human who is certain about what will happen after you die. 

The goal shouldn't be: Be good so you can have another and a better life after this life. The goal should be: Just be the best that you can, for you and your world. 

Better things will come if you lose your fear to live and to be. You will find yourself and it will hurt, it is a painful process, but you become a better you and stronger. 

Start somewhere.

Start living. 

Stop fearing. 

By: Mario Guevara #EveryDayALittleDeath #Blog #Blogger #Writing #Writer #CentralPark #Nyc #newyork #manhattan #concretejungle #citythatneversleeps #boysofnyc #change #fearless #fierce #life #boys #autumn #yourvoiceisyourweapon #lifelessons

New

I was depressed. I had no motivation at all, no expectations of life. At one point all what I wanted to do was staying in my room and just be, not thinking and not even crying anyomore. 

I was in such depression that my dreams and goals seemed imposible and part of the science fiction world. I started to give up and I just didn't believe in anyone neither in me. 

I tried to get away. 
I knew that I needed a fresh start. 
I just wanted to be somewhere where I could be no one and someone at the same time. 
Somewhere where I would never  disappoint anyone including me.
Somewhere where I could be me and take control of everything. 
Somewhere where I could feel alive, where I could walk among people and be a perfect stranger. Somewhere where I could be free, where my mind could be in peace with my soul and my heart.

A fresh start. 

Moving to a new country and leave everything what you know was a hard decision to make.
You take full control of your life and of who you are. You choose to leave all what is normal and what you know. You have to build a new life with the knowledge and experience that you have acquired so far in your life and trust that and have faith on the person you that have become so far in this journey. 

The biggest challenge is to know and acknowledge who you really are, because you are everything you have, you are the only old friend, the only family, the only everything you have and if you don't know who "you are" yet....your journey is to find that out. 

"Fresh start" sounds delightful and easy. It is delightful but it isn't easy at all. Sometimes the depression chases me and I feel like giving up.....but I fight, because I don't want to be defeated by my own fears, because I want to defeat my fears and I want to acomplish my goals and have new challenges. 

It has been hard and sometimes you feel like everything is against you, but then you remember your motivation, that you accepted the challenge for a reason: YOU. 

Then you stand up and keep walking.

We have to face our fears in order to change. If we never know what are we afraid of we will never be able to face the things that are holding us from growing.
I am not afraid of death, I am afraid that the people who loves me is sad or are suffering because of me. I am that type of people who worries and care more for his family, his friends and his beloved ones than for him.
My biggest fear is nothing stupid, my biggest fear is to know someone is that I love is sad and that freaks me out to a point that I would do almost anything for them, leaving what I want and my happiness behind.

I want to be my priority. I feel like if I have been stuck and in hold for about 2 years, and I want to stop and face my fear and change.

It is probably one of the hardest things that I have ever tried to do. I need to be selfish for a while and make my dreams and my goals my number one thing in life. I have to stop putting people before me. I keep worrying too much and letting people to manipulate me with their feelings and I let myself to be manipulated even I know that I have to stop feeling so bad about people´s situation. I am too emphatetic sometimes.

I know who I want, I know my big goals, I have to clear my mind about some of them. But the people I love need to really understand that I have my life, that I am the owner of it and that I have to make my own decisions. It is hard for me to try to make them understand that not all my decisions will be the decisions they would have taken, but still are my decisions, that is my life!

Build a new life is not easy, but sometimes it is even harder when the ones you love try to give you advice but expect you to do what they want.

It is my life, and I need to be stronger. This is a struggle, but something needs to be done.