Let Me Down Gently

Today you started to talk about how people is into you. 

How people is "weird" but you don't see the signs.

You told me that I can't stand to talk about it.

I guess that is because I am your ex. 

I guess because I still love you.

I guess because you were and still are my first and only love until now. 

I guess that because I learned what is to love and fall in love with you.

I guess that maybe is because of that....

I tried to keep strong and then I breathed.

I listened and gave you advice.

I succeed...... for a moment

Then to hear that didn't break me.

But I felt how I started to crack inside.

It hurt again.

I still feel

Not something, but so much for you.

Not less than before.

But now its easier to stop thinking about it and let go.

Let me go gently, because I still feel for you.

I am letting you go.....and I try to ignore that it hurts to do so.

Let me down gently.

Bye, for now.

International Day Against Homophobia and Transphobia. - (IDAHO)

Is not about "gay" rights. It is about EQUAL HUMAN rights. All humans deserve to have the opportunity to be miserable or happy in all the world. Nobody deserves to be killed, incarcerated, punished for who they are, for who they love, or for being born in the wrong body. Since we are not GOD we are no one to judge the life from another human being. Nobody wants to be a second class citizen. I pay taxes, I demand the same equal rights.

If you don't understand what is to be discriminated for who you are, to be bullied for who you love or to be pointed with a finger and be called things, if you don't know what is to be called an abomination, to be told that you are wrong and sick, if you haven't tried to commit suicide, if you haven't been treated as if you aren't worth it, if you haven't been denied your rights as a human being, then you have no right to judge the condition of the LGBT population. You have no right to judge because is not easy to deal with HOMOPHOBIC BIGOTED ASSHOLES every day.

If you are one, think that no matter what you do if you are a father/mother that your kid might be LGBT. That your sister/brother/sibling could be lgbt. That someone you love is LGBT. Are you sure you want your loved ones to go through that? Stop HOMOPHOBIA AND TRANSPHOBIA.

International Day Against Homophobia and Transphobia. - (IDAHO)

Xenofobia y Religión. Amor duro de separar.

Pláticaba con un amigo y un creyente religioso. Estabamos revisando unas ofertas en internet y ví una consola de videojuegos y le dije "siempre quise una consola, pero nunca lo tuve porque atrofiaba supuestamente el cerebro, al menos eso me decían". Mi amigo me dijo: "Sí, así como los smartphones, el internet, los libros mundanos y las computadoras atrofían el cerebro". A lo que yo le respondí: "Tenes razón, así como la biblia atrofía cerebros tambien" , "Entonces" respondío: "Estas sugeriendo que la palabra de Dios es algo que atrofía cerebros, es como que digas que Dios es algo malo", "NO", respondí "Dios no tiene nada malo, ni la biblia, ni las consolas de juegos, ni los smartphones, ni el internet, mi punto es que todos los extremos son malos, usted sabe que mucha gente ha tomado a mal la palabra de Dios para poder juzgar y atormentar las vidas de otras personas, o para hacer dinero de la palabra de Dios, estoy muy seguro que Dios no quiere eso". "Tenes razón, los extremos son malos, pensé que te referías a Dios"...."NO, Dios esta bien, los extremos estan mal y algunos de sus seguidores extremistas e intolerantes, nada más".

Muchos seres humanos creemos que tenemos una mentalidad abierta a diferentes y nuevos puntos de vista, pero en realidad cuando nuestros principios son cuestionados reaccionamos como si estuvieran violentando nuestra vida. Nuestros principios son intolerantes y cerrados. ¿Reaccionamos así porque nuestros principios y todo en lo que creemos podría ser destruido de un momento a otro? Todos tenemos y tememos a que todo cambie, más cuando alguien nos refuta y nos hace ver que estamos equivocados y que lo que creemos no existe.

Algo con lo que los creyentes y los no-creyentes se confrontan es ¿Dios existe? Podes creer en Dios y dejar de creer en el con los argumentos que sean correctos, pero en realidad cada quien adecua la verdad que se le es mostrada a su conveniencia. Fuí criado en un hogar en lo que Dios es todo, lo primero en las vidas antes que tu familia, antes que tus deseos, antes que todo es Dios. Al mismo tiempo fuí criado con muchas posibilidades de pensamiento, se me inculcó la lectura, aprender acerca de los países más desarrollados que estaban fuera, de las líneas de pensamiento que no eran como la mia. Directamente e indirectamente abrí mi mente al mundo. Fue dificil el proceso de aceptamiento que mi familia tuvo, de toda la familia extensa, yo me independice, yo fuí el primero que dejo de seguir la religión que se me había inculcado, hasta ahorita nadie de mi familia extensa o cercana me trata de inducir de nuevo a la iglesia, porque saben que tengo muchos argumentos y que no regresaré a ser parte de una institución que promueve la intolerancia, la discriminación, el machismo y la discriminación. Muchas personas son fieles creyentes de la biblia, tienen "FE" creen y se aferran a algo que no se ve. Mientras son fieles adoradores de la biblia olvidan las palabras de sus lideres en el pasado y se convierten en extremistas intolerantes que reaccionan ferozmente a lo que sus mentes no entienden. Lo desconocido les causa miedo, indignación, intolerancia, rechazo y odio en muchas ocasiones.

En muchos países desarrollados la población no se identifica con ninguna religión, o con Dios. Eso no significa que estas personas no tengan principios morales. La moralidad esta asociada con la religión por los mismos religiosos, por la iglesia católica en sus inicios y ahora por las dos la católica y la protestante. En los países desarrolados se ha dado un fenomeno, en que la gente prefiere aprender, entender, estudiar y si aún así no entienden.....aprenden a tolerar y aceptar que no todas las personas piensan igual, y que no todos queremos lo mismo.

La intolerancia a las cosas que no entendemos tiene que dejar de ser un tema de debate en las leyes de nuestro país y de los países del mundo. "Dad al Cesar lo que es del Cesar, dad a Dios lo que es de Dios" . Jesús lo supo y lo enseño, si Jesus entendió esto y supo que el estado es una entidad completamente desligada a la iglesia ¿Por qué sus seguidores no lo entienden?

Solo tuve una pequeña catarsis acerca de los religiosos, sus extremos y su fobia a lo desconocido.

Selfish vs Selfless

Being a selfish person is one of the worst characteristics a human being can have, being proud of being selfish is disgusting. Is like being proud of being a murderer, only on type of person can feel that way and it is a psycopath/psociopath.

I have met some selfish people, some of them I once called my friends, one of them is my sister, one of them was me.

This type of people only cares about how they feel, the goals that they need to reach no matter how nor matter what they will do, they don't care about advise, they close their minds to feedback and they are willing to hurt people, to treat them as nothing, even knowing what they are doing, they don't care because of the sanity of their egos, blaming the person that cares for them, always being saints, never being wrong, never making mistakes.

This people that thinks they have conquered everything or that will conquer their goals, by hurting someone else. I have been like that before, I hate the person I used to be. I damaged so many people, and I can't undo what I have done. I can see how much damage I did to my people who loves me and how their wounds still hurt when they remember the past, what I did to them.

I went through a self-destruction stage in my life. My selfish and destructive being died when I had a car accident. Then I wasted 2 years of my life figuring out who I really was, who I really am, if I needed those people with me or if I was the bad in my life. Guess what did I find out? I was my own problem, my demon, my weapon and my target.

I learned to smile again, and to see how people's happiness in simple things made them happy, made me happy too. I learned to share, to see, to learn, to absorb and to reject. I learned to found me, who I really am. I am not the same who I find out I was. We constantly change, we always evolve to become the best or in the worst version of our yesterday. 

You learn that material things will be there, but is not the material what makes you happy. Of course you need shoes, food, coffee (my only addiction haha)......but you also need love, you need peace, friends, your family, you need you to be yourself. I can remember how I used to feel, so full of rage, hate, how selfish I was, believing that I was all I needed to conquer everything......I was a fool and a really asshole.

Sometimes you can hear "Be selfish with yourself". Sometimes I think that what they try to tell you is "Focus on yourself" and that doesn't mean to be selfish, being selfish brings a lot of negative feelings to your life. Learning how not to depend on hate, rage & egoism, so you can feel powerful is what is most challenging. Why? Because that means that you have to discover yourself and to find out what truly motivates you, what brings you happiness, what can give you pure strength without depending on rage.

Being selfless brings happiness, you can be happy by helping others and caring about the ones you love, you have to care and love yourself that doesn't mean you are selfish. We live in a world full of wonders, and keeping emotions and things to "ourselves" is just a fantasy that only people in denial can think of. At certain point or another you will need the help of a human being or mother nature to achieve your goals, and to reach happiness.

Egoism only brings destruction from your feelings to your world. People gets tired of dealing with your shitty attitude towards life, towards love, family and friends. Your beloved ones can survive without someone who is selfish, self-destructive, who is harmful for others.

Can you survive with yourself being that disgusting, self-indulgent and hideous being you are? Not for long.