You will never be the same

I didn't understand why love was so important for some people.
I didn't understand why it was so powerful in some people's feelings and behaviour.
I didn't know that one feeling could be so beautiful and so powerful, as well so complicated.

I remember myself saying that I would never fall in love because I didn't have the time for it.
I also remember that one of the feelings that I hate the most is to feel vulnerable, and I knew that at the moment I would fall in love I would be open and vulnerable, I don't know if describe it as an open wound but that's the best example I can think of by now.

Fire, it feels like fire, how runs through your veins and through your everything.....your soul, your heart, your brain..... how that fire makes you feel full of joy and happiness and how it burns.

All of the feelings has their good and bad sides, is like ying yang, everything in this world has its opposite. Love has hate. You cannot feel full of joy and happiness all of the time, the universe makes sure that we don't keep feeling like that all of the time so we don't forget our reality.

Nothing is perfect and as this post everything is a mess sometimes, you don't know where to begin, you don't know how it will grow and you don't fucking know how it will end.....therefore you are just a mess.

I'm not going to talk about the happiness and how beautiful love makes me feel. Because as you have been told and experienced it's fucking amazing........but the part that it hurts as lemon juice in a wound, that is the part that many avoid to talk about, the part where your brain gets lost and cloudy, the part when your heart really feels as a fucking mess where you feel your heart wounded and torn is the part that nobody talks about but cry and keep silence about.

Love is such a powerful feeling, it is more powerful than hate indeed. Love can blind you, can make you feel things that you would have never think they existed before. Is a feeling that has been the reason to create many shields in many hearts, so it won't make any damage any more, but even with a shield, love will find a way to get inside again, because it has never gone.

You try to clear your mind, the more you try, the stronger the memories and the feelings come back and crush you. Little by little you realize and learn that is not about forgeting or to just take it away, it takes a lot of courage to keep moving, because crying and feeling shit will not fix anything. Either if you are not with that person, or if that person is away but you still together, or if it is just complicated.... even if your heart is torn and it hurts so bad..... you learn to keep smiling and to do your best to be YOU again.

You can hangout but people doesn't know or maybe they do, that his/her name is in your mind wishing so many things.

After a while, you learn that after this you will never be the same, that you have changed and that your heart is not the same. That you will never forget this, that it will always be a part of you, and that you probably will never stop loving that person, because they took a piece of you with them.

You will never be the same.