Changes

Everything changes......the world moves on, people changes, my feelings changed, I changed... 


     Nothing is like it used to be.......definitely is not


The reality tells me that I will not be able to forget this soon, but eventually I will get over the situation.


     Being in love, with someone who worth it (at least that is what you think that it worth it) is the worst thing that happenned to me in the period of one year of a half already.


I was just 19 years old; I just wanted to feel loved, to know that someone needs me, but back to those days I think that is just really simple: You are not going to find the love of your life so soon...... 


         Every one of us knows what is the best and what is not, everybody can tell you when someone is good for you or not, your real friends will warn you and let you know that you are doing a mistake......but the heart, oh the heart is such a backstabber.


He knows that you are getting hurt by your own feelings, that you should not feel for that person....you become deaf and you don't listen any advice.


  It hurted me.
                         I injured my self.


                                                      My heart played with me.
                                                                                                  This is not fair.




Those were my thoughts............I was just too naive, and just needed to learn what life was about, not everything is about love and about finding your half.........everything is about to LIVE and to LEARN.


           Then I realice that he was there.......standing since two years ago, a listener and a watcher of my life.


He is just curious of life, of everything. I probably don't know what I want for my all life, but I admit that curiosity is something I miss sometimes; and I don't blame him for feeling like that. 


But I do blame him for the wrong expectations. I do blame him for playing with my heart and feelings....... to get satisfied his gay curiosity. 
Is not about if it is good or not...........is about thinking about what you are doing, about the damage that you can make in one life, how you can ruin one moment, how you can get in to someone's life and complicate that simple life. 


          That simple life I thought I had.....were if I wanted to have one night with someone I had it without drama.


                                                                  were love was just a play, and I was cold and never listened to my feelings. 
                                                              
                                                                  were I had a lot of fake friendship, but they were "my friends"


Of course........ I don't want that simple life, thanks to the things I have lived so far I know that our hearts don't play with us just to hurt us. They know what they do, they teach us....yes sometimes to the hard way, but that is the way that we learned.


Then your feelings change, and you realice that you are happy without those feelings you used to have, you realice that there stills love in your heart ........but not like you used to .........you changed, you learned.


And that is all about, learn from everything. Enjoy to cry, enjoy to be sad, enjoy to be happy, enjoy to have sex, enjoy to feel cheated, enjoy to feel depress so when you are feeling better you can realice that you are finally moving on. Enjoy the music in your life.......music can save, think about the soundtracks that you can have......and then you will realice that if you enjoy, you will learn from every failure, and you will realice that not all the failures are bad......that it is part of living. 


You will change, everyone will change, the world moves on.......so don't expect to feel, to want, to be......the same than  yesterday, because yesterday is gone.