Monday, January 30, 2012

El Salvador y un tabú


Todos somos humanos y todos merecemos iguales derechos y respeto.

“El tiempo cambia”. Las sociedades crecen, y poco a poco las personas tienen más de un punto de vista, se crean diferencias de pensamiento tanto políticas, como de vida, de enseñanza, entre otras. Los humanos como tal somos seres diferentes, y sería ridículo que todos pensáramos de una sola forma. El Salvador es un país que en los últimos 30 años ha tenido cambios trascendentales en todo aspecto. Y es algo afortunado, pues si el mundo y su forma de pensar no se desarrollaran, siguiéramos pensando que la tierra es cuadrada, que la Santa Inquisición fue correcta, que las mujeres no pueden votar, que los afro-americanos son menos capaces que los blancos, que el homosexualismo es una enfermedad.

Todos tenemos el derecho de crecer, desarrollarnos como personas, el derecho  a vivir sin ser juzgados  por ser quien somos y
a quien amamos. Pero lamentablemente vivimos en una etapa en la que estamos lidiando con una doble moralidad, en la que si un niño muere de hambre, no nos importa, pero si hay dos personas del mismo sexo demostrando su amor nos ofende, nos insulta y lo catalogamos como enfermizo e incorrecto.
Me enseñaron en la iglesia, que robar y matar es malo. Me enseñaron que la homosexualidad era una abominación; me enseñaron que solo Dios puede juzgar y me ensañaron que Jesús nos amaba a todos por igual. Aprendí que en el mundo hay diferentes religiones. Luego leí historia y supe que las religiones y las personas intolerantes y sin respeto hacia los demás han causado guerras y han matado a inocentes por pensar y ser diferentes. Pero nunca me enseñaron que amar es incorrecto.

Me enseñaron a no juzgar, y también a analizar, y a saber qué es correcto y no es correcto. Me enseñaron valores y también a respetar a los demás cualquiera fuera su condición física, su religión, su color, su preferencia política. Aprendí que las sociedades crecen y evolucionan, pero sé que el respeto por cualquier persona es vital para poder vivir en paz y es la base de cualquier sociedad.
Mi generación es diferente, espero que lo sepan. Esta generación es el presente y el futuro. Tenemos una mente abierta a los cambios, a las personas y las diferentes formas de pensar; hemos aprendido a ver la esencia de las cosas, luchamos por no juzgar a nadie y hemos aprendido que el amor no discrimina. Para mantener el impulso de cambio que lleva esta generación, tenemos que poner especial cuidado a este aspecto: el respeto de los demás, la no discriminación y el cambio de paradigmas de lo que es o no es “normal”.  Estamos sumidos en una doble moral en la que 12 homicidios diarios nos parece un hecho normal y sin mayor importancia, pero una pareja homosexual causa escándalo.
Muchas personas se han pronunciado últimamente, han dado su punto de vista y dicho que la homosexualidad es una enfermedad, y que estamos luchando por mantener los valores morales que rigen nuestra sociedad. Creo que todos sabemos que el país aún sigue y seguirá creciendo, y me parece correcto que las personas defiendan su forma de pensar de las formas que quieran, simplemente cuando esté en el marco del respeto mutuo. Ninguna persona piensa igual. Me parece ridículo y arcaico que en los centros comerciales echen a personas del mismo sexo por demostrar su afecto. Creo que está mal juzgar y tildar algo como incorrecto, malo e inmoral, porque no lo entendemos. Las sociedades cambian, y lo que ahora es considerado polémica por unos, será normal en poco tiempo. Nuestra sociedad y nuestra generación no es la misma de antes. Incorrecto es discriminar, matar a personas, y juzgar solo porque no son como nosotros.  El respeto es el valor que no tenemos que olvidar.

                                                                                                                                      - Mario Guevara -


Saturday, December 10, 2011

A conversation with myself

How do you know?


I know I can sound like a stupid romantic person, but how do you know who is the right person to know.
The process of dating involves time, patience, thoughts, feelings...how do you know, who is the correct person to invest all of those things....by dating a lot? Because if it is like that....I think that there are a lot of persons like me....


Me? How?
People that used to believe in love (And we keep believing but...), people that every day is less naive and less warm....that realice that knowing someone new is not the same that before, that knowing someone is just something......


(Quote that comes to my mind while I´m thinking what to write)


I think therefore I´m Single.


Next thought:


We have a little world, billions of humans, and no real love for one...




Is real love possible ? Or you just get in love and then you get used to that person, and then that feeling slowly dies and then you just don´t feel anything anymore......until you meet someone new.



Is that the cycle?




Which is the right place to know someone? A bar? The Club? At work? Really? Is so complicated....is just weird. And everytime is even more weird and awkward



I like to work, and I know how to do it and how to talk about it; but when love comes to the conversation is something that I really have not experienced yet (Of course you know which type of love I´m talking about)


When someone ask me:


What is love for you? Have you been inlove before? Are you inlove now?
My mind turns black......and I have no answer. That field in my life is empty. Is not written.


Relationships? Two


The longest one? 3 months


Why? Just did not work and did not worth it


Are you ready for a relationship? Well, How do you really know when you are ready?


Do you want just to know somebody or to have a real boyfriend? I have to know and then we can see...




Do you see yourself in a relationship? (This answer terrifies me) No, at least not for now.



Why? I want other things first.


But why? I do not want to invest time in somebody else when I have not finished what I want.


Can´t you have both things at the same time? I guess I could, but now I am not mature enough for having a relationship, having a job, my university, my family, my friends, my time.


Your time? Yes, my time.


What do you mean with "Your Time"?
My time is when I want to be just with My mind, my soul and my body.


What about sleeping with someone you could love?


I know it feels good, I know is something I enjoy. I have done that but just for the simple pleasure of feeling that and probably I enjoyed that person, but then the feeling becomes an empty feeling, the sensation goes away from me and I feel dirty. I can have sex and that is fine, but sleeping with someone .....is weird now. Sleeping with someone I could love, probably yes, but how do I know I will love that person? So if you don´t know, you are just simply sleeping with someone and that´s it. And sleeping with someone is really easy, you just have to like somebody and then you have sex and then you fall asleep....it might sound raw but that is what happens, and in my case that makes me feel dirty, empty, disgusted. I think I could avoid that feeling  just having sex and then say goodbye. But that is not me, See? How everything turns complicated?



From a simple question.....to a complicated answer. But I guess I want a real process before sleeping with someone I could love.




What do you mean by real process?
Having a first date! Having a second date! Having a third date! Having a fourth date and so on! And then just keep dating and make love and learn about the other person, falling in love you know?
Meet that person, enjoy the talk, love the conversation, see the shine in his eyes, see how passionate can be the first conversation, feeling that possible conexion.....if you do not feel that, you can avoid all the real process and just have sex if both want that.






Do you want to be loved?
I think I do. But  I am not like before, I do not trust anyone now. But the answer would be Yes.


How do you think that you will know that you just meet the person for having a " real process"?
I don´t really know. But I think that when that moment comes I will definitely know it. I think that the Universe, my soul, my mind and my body will let me know. Just as when you know you need water, I think I will know that I will need that person for real, not just like a soda, not like juice....need it as water, stupid but you got the idea, right?


So that is the way I think.......God I´m weird.


A conversation with myself. Too many ideas now, So my next entry will be soon......


.........I guess I just don´t know.




Sunday, September 18, 2011

Over

I´m done!!!!
I´m fucking tired of feel sad because of an asshole!
Fuck that shit!
I´m done, this is over!

Totally fucking over!
I don´t want to think about you ever!!!!!!!
You are so out of my heart!

I already gave too much time, and beautiful words to you! again the feeling I have for you is: FUCK YOU!

To die alone

Today I had lunch with my grandparents, they are both admirable persons, who fight against the adversity and they still fighting for they marriage. I really love them, I think that older people are like diamonds, they worth so much, and once they are gone you can´t have them back, that knowledge is lost.

The conversation was about getting or not getting married. I think it started when I said: "I hope Johanna is doing the right thing by getting married so young (20 years) Then everything flow, and I realize that they just dont want for any of us (grandchildren) to end alone.

Then we started to talk about: LOVE

That word
                   That situation
                                           That feeling
                                                                  That meaning
                                                                                           That thing
                                                                                                              That unexpected
                                                                                                                                        That...strange word
                                                        Love is for everyone?

                                                                         NO

Anger

So, I tried to avoid an explosion of anger..........and it happenned.
Friday´s night, it was a great night. A couple of beers at my house, three friends, then we decided to go to the club. Guess who was there?........He
I did not care, because I mentalized that I would not care at all and that I was going to enjoy the night.....NOT
He came to say hi, I said hi and all my friends were nice.
Akward moment........I do not want to be with you, or to be talking with you boy, that is why I did not tell you anything about going out, I want to be far from you (of course I said that in my mind)
Then I think I was rude and he left to his table.......TG!
Then like one hour later he appeared again, he get him self in to the conversation and well my friends are polite and they include him to the conversation, so it was fine, why not..........right?
Then my friends said , lets go to another club, I said cool! Then he said.........yes! And my mind again.....Who the fuck invited you? No one here, so don´t make auto invitations ........damn it
And then we get in to the car of my friend and there he was, he left him where his car was parked, and he said goodby and I was happy because he leaveeeeeed!
But suddenly he appeared in the the other club and I was like pissed......why is he following me, why is he always behind, why you don´t understand that I want you far!
At the end of the night, when he was really drunk I was really mad and I sent him to his house, I did not stand to see him there.

IT was rude from me? Yes
     He decerve that? Super yes
No regrets............he screw my night so screw him!