Melancholia, Romanticism, Autumn.

He walks through Central Park. 
Fall has started. 
The season of melancholia. 
His favorite season. 
He wonders and wanders. 

Why is melancholia so natural in me?
From all the feelings in the universe
This feels like me. 
My coffee is too warm.
I am wandering in Central Park
I never predicted this. 
NEVER. 

He stops for a second and takes a picture. 
A cold breeze hits him
He smiles and embrace it. 
People walks around him.

It is 5:00 pm
It's getting darker and colder.
The park and autumn at its best moment. 
Melancholia, Romanticism, Cycles ending.

A couple walks towards him. 
Two girls, embracing each other.
No talk.
Their hands together. 
She looks at her and stare at a squirrel running. 
She kisses her and keep walking.
No word. 
Just a connection. 

What does it feel?
He wonders. 

When it happened....will I know? 
How do you know?
What does it feel to feel that?
How do you know you are connected?

Questions, questions in his head. 
His coffee is getting cold. 
The wind blows harder.
The leafs fall and create magic. 
Nobody is around the pond. 

New York City and Autumn.
Magic surrounds this city in fall. 
But the park becomes surrounded by dark magic. 
A magic that will involved you and make you part of it. 

He keeps walking. 
He keeps questioning. 
He sits right in front of the Bethesda Fountain. 
And he is not longer his. 

He is now part of the melancholia, romanticism and the autumn. 

Les passions

It begins with a flame. 
That could either vanish.
Or grow to become a fire. 
Oh soul. 

Whatever it becomes
Vanished or incendiary 
There will always leave a mark. 
A scar
A reminder you felt it. 

I question myself. 
What is the point of battling against it?
I have no control over it.
The more you fight it. 
The harder it gets. 

I feel anger. 
I feel warmth. 
I feel hope. 
I feel fear. 
I feel hate. 
I feel love. 
I feel.....

And I wonder while wandering
I'm not good with poetry
The same way I'm not good with feeling
I am emotions
I feel
I am human. 

I used to fear 
The feelings living within me
It was consuming me
It was consuming who I am and my soul

I no longer avoid 
I have lived in this darkness
I almost drown 
But then the flame....the heat brought me back
And I embraced it.

But 
I always questioned 

Are feelings part of a punishment given by the deities?
Why are we being punished?
Why are some of us naturally warmth and become cold?
Is it a curse as well?

The curse of les passions. 
La maldicion de los sentimienti. 

If it is I embrace it. 
I embrace my curse. 
I am not longer afraid.
I am a passionate person. 
I am not crazy, although I wish I was.
So I wouldn't care much. 
Is a constant battle...
But it is not a battle anymore when you enjoy to play. 
And if the deities gave me this game
I shall be a great player. 

I'm not entitled to win, neither to loose. 
What am I entitled to?
Feel. 

I am not afraid. 

I will never know the nothingness of feelings. 

I am aware of who I am. 

I am.